“What’s “Me” time?? Isn’t all the time you have just yours as it is for everyone on earth?” quipped Mom, with a perplexed look, when I complained of the lack of it, after I had my baby girl. Her response didn’t come without any wisdom in it and it took me a few years to get the depth. As women we always pride ourselves in being excellent multi-taskers- Oh yeah, I see the nod 😉 yet have you ever heard our opposite gender ever complain about not having any “Me” time?? Smile and admit it – they rarely do! Of course now are minds are racing against all odds to prove why they don’t complain…I will let you do that, but not before you finish this.
While there may be a plethora of reasons you have listed on the Why, the fact remains it is a rare feeling for men. I am least feminist in general & even less in women’s circles as my personal take is that it’s an image we want to fall in love with most of the times and satisfy the “sense of belonging” to the elite group of independent, strong willed, fear nothing women we all aspire to be. So I will be just that and point out that we have a thing or two we could borrow from our dear men when it comes to “Me” Time.
Firstly, “Me” time need not Always be this secluded, cozy spot you have found yourself to read your favorite author sipping some divine coffee!! Wake up and smell the coffee, now really!! It can be very much part of a regular day in which you beat your alarm in being up, zoom past the morning dailies including packing husband/child/dabbas and helps at home, rush to office, finish the daily dose of banter with colleagues and land in a thud at the office chair only to find yourself drowning in a sea storm of mails and deadlines! Phew, it’s just 3-4 hours into the day and you would easily trade an arm to get a back and foot massage coz you have achieved so much already! Hah, really? Now rewind and slow down.
Think of each activity accomplished since you woke up and ask yourself – Was there a single minute where you did any activity in full awareness, aligned with all your senses and by being in the moment? That is what we call in Yoga as mindfulness. Heck no, why should I – I am a woman and I pride myself on being able to multi-task. I want it all at the same time- Get the perfect dosa on the pan, scream to the apartment sec on not being overdue, sulk at the lavish outpour of Lizol into the bucket by my help, use sign language to show where the homework file is lying, while having nervous looks at the Clock! We love the circus! Many a times, not even one single activity of the listed has been accomplished to our own Gold standard benchmarking, leading to us more frustration & being duped into thinking we need to perfect the art of multi-tasking!
Meanwhile the men are scanning newspapers and passing or flunking Mr. Modi on his 2019 prospects. Just that. Ok, may be with chai cup in hand. Voila, that’s ME TIME!! Effortless, focused and so relaxing for them all at one time. Now, this is because they simply resigned to the fact that they want to do one activity at a time and do it well.
Let’s do a reality check. Nobody is giving away shopping vouchers to the super woman who is toggling things better than the local bar-tender!! Let’s care to stop, think and reflect on the daily cues of Body pain, Stress, Irritability & Frustration that’s mostly triggered by over-ambitious 20 things on a To-do List. Let’s trim it down to a 10, watch ourselves achieve at least 7 and be pleasantly surprised to find a good 30 minutes of “Me” Time.
Let’s accept that ALL tasks need not be multi-tasked, Revisit who & what REALLY deserves our time each day, Make small but meaningful adjustments as less as 15 minutes each day and we’ll soon see that the ever elusive 30 minutes of kriya time or finishing that book on Emotional Intelligence (such a dearth!) wouldn’t be as challenging as we make it out to be! Go on and get the world! But shall we try slow and easy this time 🙂
Reena George, Bodhi Team, Hyderabad